I Have Finished Falling
by ShinesSoBright
Summary: Hermione Granger is in love with a certain snarky Potions Professor. However, she doesn't know how far her infatuation goes...
1. I Have Finished Falling

"_I have finished falling…"_

I have been so tired. So hard is this battle. Not the battle with the Dark Lord, but the battle within myself. I wish I could be free of all the torments, of all the pain. But life is different in this way. Life is not so simple.

I wish, lying here at night, that I could be free to tell him. Tell him the truth. Tell him how much I love him. I, Hermione Jane Granger, am a pathetic loser. I can not even tell the man I am deeply in love with, that I love him. I wish I could be Harry sometimes. He is able to say what is truly on his mind. I say things, which are studious and bookish. Nothing that I truly feel comes out. My friends don't care. They are too wrapped up in Qudditch matches or in their own sordid sex lives. I don't want sex, at least not yet. What I want is for him to love me. That is it. It is so simple really. It is far from simplicity.

Today we have a double potions exam. I know I have nothing to worry about, but I can not help it. It still pains me that I freak out over something I know so well. Potions has been my favorite class, because it challenges me, not like the other classes I take don't. It's just that it's _his _class. And he means the world to me. When did I start to fall for him? I really don't recall. But I know that when I fall, I fall, hard.

As I enter the classroom, he tells us that he expects utter silence, for this is the test that defines our grades for the term, not the final exam. He says that the final exam is just a hurried form of potions and free response questions; this is a test that will make you think. He is brilliant. He tells us that he will now see how talented we truly are at potions, and what a surprise, that everyone is scared. Except the talented Ms. Granger, who is never afraid of a test. She actually studies for an exam, whether it is the final or not. This is no quiz. This is a test. Sit down, and begin. Part two, the potion-making section will start in 25 minutes. Begin you insolent children, or should I say children attempting to be young adults.

As I work diligently at the problems at hand, I sneak a look at him. He truly is handsome. With that sour look on his face, he looks rather snarky, but I know his true face. Underneath that coy façade, he is a handsome man, who is passionate about everything he sets his mind to. I heard Dumbledore's assessment of Snape one day. He said that he was the most brilliant wizard he has ever encountered, and not just at potions either. He said that Snape was talented at everything, and that one day, Severus would succeed him as the next Headmaster. He knows that McGonagall thinks that she will be the Headmistress, but Snape is so much more powerful. I find this interesting. Rather like politics to me. But it doesn't matter. I love him. I love…him….


	2. My Heart Is Left Sinking

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; I just like to weave my own tales…of love…of woe…

"As I fight the shadows that disguise me  
Dyin' for these hidden ways  
All that seems so far is now behind me  
And I can soar while my heart is left sinking…"

I work attentively at the task at hand. I seem to finish much faster than all the other students. But that is expected of me, I guess. I am the brains of the Golden Trio, as he likes to call me and my friends. I really do not understand him at all. He acts so short with people all the time, but I can see him looking at all of us questioningly sometimes. I watch him when he is at Grimmauld Place, and he looks thoughtfully at all of us, before setting that scowl of his that seems so commonplace to his nature. I do believe that he must have a heart after all, contrary to popular gossip and belief of my peers. I believe that deep down, he must have been rejected rather badly, because he acts so cruel. I do suppose that it had to be quite horrible, because otherwise I do not believe he would have joined Voldemort's cause.

As I double check my test, and recheck it again, I look up at him. He is sitting at his desk, face crunched up like he is thinking rather hard. He looks mad at something, but when doesn't he? I notice everything about him. The way he moves so fluidly around the castle and classroom. The way he looks after a hard day's work, relieved that it's over. The way he sneers at the Gryffindor, and especially Harry and Ron and me. The way he gloats when Slytherin wins a match. Especially the way he looks when I answer a difficult question in class. He looks almost surprised. I know everything about him, and it hurts me so much inside to watch him, but I must. It makes me feel close to him. Very close. The closest I will ever get I suppose. Seventh year could not get any worse or more complicated to me for that matter.

When the bell rings, he barks at us, "Bring up your parchments and your bottled potions and leave them in your cubbies. The cubbies will lock automatically in precisely 30 seconds, so I suggest you put your test inside at once. You are dismissed. "

I slowly get up, and place my things in my cubby. Why does mine have to be the closest to his desk? I wonder. The rest of the class is murmuring, and rushing about to place their tests inside of their cubbies. I just look on as I wait for Harry to hurry up behind me. Ron is not taking this class this year; his NEWTS were too low to qualify. So many students have dropped potions, I am sad to say. No more are we required to deal with the snarky bat of the dungeons, but still, I stay. I remain forever in his presence as long as I can. I love him…

As I sit down to lunch there is a buzz about the table. Apparently Crabbe accidentally charmed Goyle with a simple but terribly complex charm (it is Crabbe we are talking about you know.). It was a charm that makes the receiver speak of his greatest desires. And now Goyle and Millicent Bulstrode are an item! I guess they both deserve each other. They both have a brutish appearance, with a temper to match, rather amusing if you ask me. Everyone in our year seems to be dating someone else. Ron has Luna, and Harry has Ginny. Even Draco, who always pretended to hate Pansy, is dating her, and it seems to work out. Everyone is in love or lust, apparently, but me. Ginny offered to set me up with Colin Creevey, but he is not my type. She, my best friend, doesn't even know that I am in love with him. No one knows, and I do not think I could bear it if anyone were to discover my secret.

Why can't I have love? How does a creep like Crabbe deserve love over me? The fates have spit in my face once again, and I am not terribly excited about that either. Harry pokes me in the side and says, "Who are you going to take to the Spring ball next Saturday? Dean was whining because Rachel broke up with him last week, and now he has no one to take. You should talk to him about it. "

"Alright Harry, "I tell him absentmindedly as I look up at the Head table, to get a glimpse of him. He is looking at his plate, next to McGonagall, and eating rather slowly. He looks as if he is weary from today. It's only been 4 hours, and already he looks worn out. I wonder what is troubling him…

"Take out your Charms texts, and turn to page 567. The charm we are studying is…" I sit in charms class, and think about him. Ron looks at me, because I am not for once trying to take notes on every word that is being uttered by the professor. "Just take your notes Ron," I hiss to him when he stares at me for several seconds. "I know what this is already. I've read the book on this charm months ago. I learned it last year. Go ahead, take your notes. I'm fine."

Why must everyone think of me as a brain, instead of human? If I acted like Ron or Harry, or Ginny, they would think I was completely off my rocker. But instead I act like a know-it-all. I guess it's the role I was meant to play.

"What was that all about Hermione? I was worried, because usually you take such good notes. I was planning on borrowing them later. What's up?" Ron asked me when class was dismissed. He was struggling to fit all of his things into his bag. He looked up from his task, and looked at me, into my eyes.

"Nothing is the matter Ron," I replied. What I liar I am. Everything is wrong. I love the person you hate the most. Well not the most. The third most. But still, you hate him just the same.

"Let's go to the Common room. I want to see if Luna is studying with Ginny right now. It's their free period today. "Of course Ron is thinking about Luna, she is all he ever talks about. Would I ever be able to talk about Severus that way? At some point, when my infatuation became love, I started to refer to him as Severus, because I was in the safety of my own mind. I practice saying it at night, when I am alone in my private quarters. Malfoy seems to have Pansy in his all the time. But I have no one to invite to mine.

"Sure Ron, I need to get my Advanced Arthimancy book anyway. Last class of the day. I thought you had Divination today?"

"Yes, but I guess I am going to walk Luna to Care of Magical Creatures. She will be lonely, because Ginny has Transfiguration next. I promised her I would meet her in the Common room."

"Well, you better not be late. Divination is the other way. Don't come crying to me, because you have a detention! I refuse to fix another for you."

"Okay. Are you going to talk to Dean at dinner? He is really a great guy you know."

"I know. I have spent almost 7 years at school with him."

"Touchy. Well, I was just wondering. Harry said you were going to ask him to the ball, so I was wondering when you were. Okay?"

"Yes, I guess so." Why would Harry say that? I don't like Dean, not like that anyway. He is too juvenile. I love someone else, but no one will ever know. No one…

"Bulbous Bullfrogs," I said to the Fat Lady, as the portrait hole swung open.

As we finished the walk up to the Common room, Ron talked to me about the upcoming matches and asked me if I was going. I hate the sport really, but I don't like to hurt his feelings, and not go. I go to watch my three best friends play, but I also go because of my Head Girl Duties. I go mostly because if it is a match with Slytherin, he is there. He sits in the teacher's box, and looks at the game, never changing his expression, regardless of the winner. He is most interesting and amusing at times. I wish he would notice my love for him. I can not go on like this. Loving him is hard enough, but loving him and not being able to speak of it, is so much harder. I want to tell the world, but I know that is not possible…I love him…

Author's note: More to come. I love the fact that I got a few reviews. I never get them, so I was terribly excited. So I wrote this chapter faster than I anticipated. Thanks to all who reviewed. Anyone interested in being a beta for me?

P.S. All of the lyrics I have used so far are from a rare song by Vanessa Carlton, called Devil's Dance…


	3. You Can Hit The Floor

Disclaimer: I do not; unfortunately own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. I just have my way with them….

Chapter 3: You Can Hit the Floor

"Everything that comes along reminds you  
You can either rise above or you can hit the floor..."

I slowly walk to Arithmancy, alone, because all of my mates class's were on the other side of the castle. As I walked, I let my thoughts wander about my head, in not particular order or fashion. It was the last class of the day, and I find myself to be very happy, even though everyone would look at me if i was positively nutters. I never seem sullen about going to class. I always look so happy. But I have been too tired. Well after this class I can go to the library until dinner, I am rather behind on my Transfiguration work. I am only three weeks ahead in that class, instead of my usual month. The library is my sanctuary, where I can be free to concentrate on my studies, free of distractions from all of my friends who are constantly snogging.

I walk along ever so slowly, because I still have fifteen minutes until class. I just didn't want to stay in the Common room, and watch all of them cuddle and babble about nothing, and snog. It makes me so depressed sometimes, because I love him, and I will never be able to do any of that with him. As I walk along, I look at some of the portraits. One catches my eye. It is of a man and woman, standing in a field, and the sky is lit up with thousands of twinkling stars. It is so beautiful, and the portrait moves around, in the wizardly fashion, with stars shooting across the sky, and the girl running in the field, with the man chasing her about in a grand way. It makes my heart ache, and as I round the corner, my body encounters something warm and solid. I am pushed to the floor, and all my books and papers are strewed about, my bag hanging open. A bottle of ink crashed to the floor, breaking and spilling ink all over my robes and parchments. A piece of glass has lodged itself in my hand. I watch as the blood drips out of my cut, and mixes with the ink. Black on red, red on black. I look up, dazed, at what made me fall and make such a mess. It was him.

"Bollocks! Watch where you are going, Ms. Granger! Ten points from Gryffindor, for your insolence. Next time look up, and pay closer attent- Are you hurt? Silly child, let me see."

He looks at me, papers and books strewn about the floor. My hair is even wilder, because of my fall. I hold up my hand, and I show him, as the blood runs from the cut, and the glass catches the light, as he grasps my cold, clammy, bleeding hand, in his soft calloused one. He looks at the cut, and looks up at my face. I can feel a tear fall from my right eye, and with a tiny plop, it falls onto the piece of glass in my right hand. I stare at the glass, as he speaks, with his voice, like a piece of crushed velvet, to me again...

"Ms. Granger. Ms. Granger...Ms. GRANGER!"

I seem to slowly snap out of my daze, and look into his eyes. For one moment, chocolate brown eyes, meet dark brooding brown ones, almost as dark as the night's sky when there is no moon. I see concern in his eyes, as he looks at me still, obviously waiting for an answer.

"Yes, professor?" I say in a small voice, as his grip on my hand relaxes, and I let the tears fall...

"Ms. Granger, are you alright? Don't cry please, its not a trait of your house to cry. I would expect crying from a Hufflepuff, not from you." With those words, he quickly took out his wand, and murmured a spell. a brief moment of searing pain made me cry out, and he gently said to me. "Hush now girl, I had to take the glass out." I looked at my hand, and it was gone. With another spell, the wound was closed up. The blood on my hand looked garish, because it was dried, and changed from a bright red, to a dull reddish-brown, like dead leaves from a maple.

The blood was like my life. At first it was all bright and full of excitement and desire. But now it is dried out, and worn, like that same maple leaf, brittle and morose. I wish I could tell him how I feel, but I don't think he would ever take me seriously. After all I am a bloody Gryffindor, and we all know he hates Gryffindors, and never listens to them.

My hand being fixed, he let go. With another spell from him, the blood was gone, and the ink spill cleaned up. He had stacked my books and papers neatly beside us, because I was on the ground, and he was crouched beside me. He looked at me, and then, the bell sounding the beginning of class rang. He cursed to himself, and with a swish of his robes, was off down the hall, without another look at me, or anything.

I looked at him until he was gone down the corridor, and then I looked at my things. With a sigh, I picked up my books and things, stuffed what i could into my bag, and gathered the rest into my arms, as I made my way to Arithmancy...as I went, I thought...I love him. Why must I love him? But my heart already knew the answer. You just simply love him. I love him, and I can't help it. I love him...

Author's Note: I hope you guys like, and thanks for reviewing! More to come…


	4. Out of My Eyesight

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter, blah, blah, blah….

Chapter 4: Out of My Eyesight

"I didn't seem to know what I was missing  
Just seems so out of my eyesight…"

I sit in Arithmancy, and think of him holding my hand. Although it was for medical purposes, it still was him, holding my hand, his fingers brushing against my cold skin, making it feel like it was on fire. He has calluses on his fingertips, I suppose from working with so many potions ingredients. He is so intelligent, and he is so mysterious. Both are traits I admire him for.

As I work assiduously at my assignment, I can't help but think of him. It is so strange, at one point; I actually paid attention in class. I still look the part, not like some of my friends who don't even bother to look like they are working. Bloody dolts they are sometimes. The class is silent, consisting only of Malfoy, Pansy, Blaise, a smattering of Ravenclaws, one Hufflepuff, by the name of Cecilia Adams, and a quiet Gryffindor, Adam DeFoe. It's a rather small group, but it is a difficult course, and only a handful of students ever pursue it after the required years. I enjoy the class, and welcome the structure of the subject. I need to stop thinking of him, and get back on task…

When the bell sounds, everyone turns in their assignments, and I sign my name to my scroll, and look up, and see something peculiar. It's him, and he is talking to the professor, about something. I see his eyes catch mine, and for the second time in one day, our eyes have found each other. His eyes are so dark, and they seem so enchanting. They say a person's eyes are a window to their soul, and I do believe that to be so. I look at him, and he shifts his attention back to the professor, and then turns around, and heads for the door. I drop my scroll on the desk, and I hurry out the door with all my things, so I may catch up to him.

I have to walk rather briskly, because he does not walk, he floats. It seems that he hovers above the ground, his movements so liquid, that they make my heart melt. I trip on some random object in the hall, probably a bit of rubbish, and all you can hear is the crash, as my books slide out of my arms, and onto the floor. Luckily, I stuffed my papers in my bag, because then I would never pick them all up. He turns around, and looks at me for a moment, and then turns around and continues walking. I look at him, and struggle to pick up my books. I manage to get them up, and with a shout, I call out, "Professor Snape!" He turns, and looks at me, and sighs.

"Yes, Ms. Granger? What is it now? Have you decided to become more like that annoying Tonks of late? Or is it just natural clumsiness that has finally surfaced. I do hope that you don't get as bad as Neville."

"No, its just…its just…"

"Spit it out girl!"

"Thank you."

"For what? Oh, do you mean for healing your hand? I am required to help students in need, its part of my job. Do not think I was being sympathetic to you or your trivial tribulations. I have more problems to deal with. Now if you excuse me, I have more important matters to attend to."

I watch silently as he makes a half turn, and begins to glide down the hall. Why does he have to be so incredibly insensitive? Why must I love someone so brilliant, but yet so cruel and troubled. I want to help him, and I want him to know how I feel. But with an attitude like that, I am reluctant to share myself with him. I head off to the library, and again I see the same portrait, so beautiful and serene. I wish life could be so simple….

The library is quiet, and I get all of my homework done for the weekend. It is a Hogsmede weekend, and I have to attend, because of my Head Girl duties. I can finish catching up on my Transfiguration later. It's almost dinner, and I want to get rid off all this baggage and books. I head off to the rooms I use, near the Prefect's showers. It is nice, having rooms that are all your own. After sharing with Lavender and Parvati, for so long, its nice to have some peace and quiet. The only problem is that it's so far from the Portrait hole, and my friends. And there is the issue of Malfoy being next door. But since he started going out with Pansy, he has relaxed more. I think its funny, that after all this time, he still is mean and totally vain. But slowly, Pansy is changing that. That girl is talented. I know she is ornery sometimes, but she can be quite agreeable as well. After her parents were sent to Azkaban, she has become a whole new person. She stays with her aunt, in Moorshire, and she seems to like it a lot better. At least the bruises are gone, and she looks happy. Not everyone in her family is evil, I suppose…

I get up, and I spot Dean, as he is walking out of the section on Herbology. I go over to him, and I say, "Hello Dean."

He smiles at me, he has a rather nice smile, and says, "Hi Hermione, Harry said you wanted to talk to me at dinner, and it's almost dinner, so would you like to walk with me?"

I really wanted to go put these books down, and then go to dinner, but how can I refuse, he was so sincere. "Sure Dean, let's go. So what did you think about those blood roses? I think they are very…"

Later, when we reach the Great Hall, and sit down to dinner, Dumbledore calls us all to attention. Dean looks at me for a moment and smiles, and then looks up at Dumbledore. I look at him as well, wondering what the news could be.

"As you all know, the big Spring Ball is next Saturday. There is to be a vote, and we shall crown the King and Queen of the ball!" there was whispering going on about the tables, that bit of information was new. "Well, actually, students, there is going to be a special tournament beforehand, a Double Quidditch match, with one final face off, and then everyone will be able to have a ball at the dance. I hope all students will attend, dates or not. Thank you everyone, and now dinner." With a wave of his wand, dinner was served.

"So Hermione, do you have a date to the ball? Harry said you didn't, and I don't. I really want Rachel to regret breaking up with me, and I can't be seen at the dance, dateless. So do you wanna go with me?" Dean said, as he helped himself to a piece of chicken pot pie.

I thought about it for a second. Why did I ever think that he was interested in me? Why would he be? Well, I guess it was okay, going with Dean, because Severus would never go with me, even if he did love me, he still wouldn't go. I stare at my plate, and push my asparagus to the side, and then I push it back over to the other.

"Sure, I will go with you Dean." I say, even though it makes me sad to agree.

"Great, I will meet you in the Common room beforehand, and then we can walk to the dance together."

"Sounds wonderful, simply wonderful…" I say, rather quietly. I look over at Harry, who is winking at me, and wiggling his eyebrows, until Ginny gives him an elbow in the ribs. He just grins, as Dean chats with Ron.

"Good going 'Mione. Now you have a date to the dance." He says before shoving mash potatoes into his mouth, stuffing it as usual.

"I guess so."

"Well, anyway, I have a question about the essay that McGonagall assigned on Wednesday…"

After dinner, I headed up to my rooms, alone, because I wasn't really feeling up to watching my friends snog for the next six hours. Besides, tomorrow is a Hogsmede weekend, and I have duties to attend to. When I reach my rooms, I say the password, and head inside. My rooms are so comfortable, with its modest décor that is suited to my wishes. I don't know how the house elves do it. I head into my sleeping chambers, and I retrieve my pajamas, and walk over to the bath I share with the Head boy. There are charms of course, that keep us from walking in on one another. I start a bath, and I remove all of my clothes, and leave them in a heap on the floor. I step into the bath after I use the loo, and brush my teeth. The water is perfect, and the bubbles I added, sandalwood, and rosemary, is heavenly. They make me think of how Severus smells, all earthy and woodsy. He smells of potions, and of sharp spices. He smells like heaven to me. The memory of the mixture of scents he carries sends a flood of longing into my heart. My mind is consumed by him, and because of him, I can no longer look at my friends snogging anymore. I used to be able to watch them, and not think anything of it. But now, it seems so wrong, and so depressing. I slowly let the water out, the scent of the bubbles remain on my skin, as I get out of the draining water, and grab a towel. I dry myself vigorously, and I think of how soft his hands seem to be. And how dark his eyes are. I look at the mirror, and I look at my reflection. I am not pretty, I think of myself to be a rather plain Jane, which suits me, because of my middle name. I stare at myself, my brown eyes, open and dilated. I look at my hair, bushy, and wild, the exact color of my eyes, the color of dead leaves in autumn. I stare at my breasts, bigger than both of my best friends, but not as big as Parvati's or Padma's. My breasts are only C-cups, but no one would ever know that, because no one looks at me in anyway sexual at all. I look at my stomach, which still has its share of baby fat, but I do not think I am fat. I look at the mound of hair that covers my vagina, and I can see that it matches my head. I look at my skin, pale and not as soft as his. I look at my face once more, and I can see a light dusting of freckles, brown and pale, sprinkled on my nose. They are not like Ginny's or Ron's, orange and bright, but a small detail, that no one hardly notices. I look at my teeth, straight because of a spell. I look myself over once more, before turning my head away, and confirming to myself, that I am not beautiful.

I put my pajamas on, a light airy cotton nightgown, with lace trim on the cuffs and the hem. It reaches just past my knees, and feels light on my body. I go over to my bed, and turn down the covers. It is only half past eight, but yet I am ready for bed. I summon my Transfiguration textbook over to my bed and I begin to read the chapter we will cover right before the end of term, before N.E.W.T.S. I am anxious about taking them, but I know that I will do well….

I hear the wall clock chime the hour, and it tells me that its one am. I have been studying for so long, that my eyes and neck ache. I close my textbook, and set it on the nightstand. With a simple, "Nox" the lights are out, and I adjust myself under the comforter, and stare at the ceiling. I lie here for sometime trying to sleep, but all I can think of is him. The scent of the bath still lingers on my skin; I can smell it as I inhale. I see his eyes in my mind, staring at me, so dark and full of something I cannot place. I think of the glass that was in my hand, and how he got it out. I think of the red blood, dripping from my wound, and how it mixed with the ink puddled on the ground. Red intermingling with black. Gryffindor meets Snape. Red, red blood puddled on the ground. Crimson tears…I love him, I think as I finally drift off, hearing the clock chime three, I love him…

Author's note: This chapter is longer than I expected. How you guys enjoy, and review. I love the insight and comments. Next chapter, Hogsmede, and the week before the dance. To correct my mistake, the lyrics come from Last Fall, by Vanessa Carlton, and not Devil's Dance. Sorry, the lyrics seem to blend together in my mind. Thanks you guys…


	5. No More Lies

Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters, but I really wish I did. You must be really mean, for reminding me of this morose fact….how depressing…. (lol)…

Chapter 5: No More Lies

"No more asking why no more foolish lies…"

"Get up, get up, you're late, you're late, YOU'RE LATE!" screams my alarm clock as I wake up out of my fitful rest. I mutter the correct spell, and it ceases its noise. I have a big headache, and as I sit up in bed, I remember what happened yesterday. Bollocks, I agreed to go to the ball with Dean, even thought I'd rather just shut myself from the world, and work in the restricted section alone. What am I going to wear? I guess that I will ask Luna and Ginny for help with that later.

I get up, I go to the loo, and I get dressed. I leave my hair how it is, it will never get better anyway. I grab my purse, and head out of the door. I go down to the Great Hall, where most of the students are already, because I am a little late. I quickly spot an open seat, between Dean (of course) and Luna. I slide into it, and I begin to load the empty plate with eggs and bacon. I grab a biscuit, and I begin to eat, as I listen to the excited chatter going on around me, as everyone talks of their plans while they are at Hogsmede. I turn to Luna when I finish chewing and I ask her if she would look with me for a dress for the ball. She murmurs a quick reply, as Dumbledore stands at the Head Table, and begins to make an announcement.

"Students who are going to Hogsmede today, I trust you will stay safe, and have a fun time. There will be several professors going, so if you need assistance, see one of them, or the Head Boy or Girl. Students who are staying, we have a treat for you. We are going to be having a carnival of sorts. Just a little pre-Ball fun. All students are instructed to enjoy themselves. Carriages to Hogsmede leave in 30 minutes, so I expect every student going shall be at the carriages in five and twenty! That will be all…"

I quickly shovel food into my mouth, until I see him, as he enters the Great Hall, and strides up to the Head table, with such a look of abhorrence on his face. He says something to the Headmaster, which makes him smile, obviously Severus is angry, but he just frowns, and sits down besides Minerva, and sullenly picks up a bowl of yogurt, and grabs a few berries from the bowl in the center of the table, and plops them into his yogurt, and begins to eat. I stare at him for a few moments, and then Luna says my name….

"Hermione, it's time to go. Don't you have to be there already? You're Head Girl…"

"Bollocks! You're right! Thanks. How did you know?" I say as I gather my things.

"I just saw Draco get up from the Slytherin table. See you later. Meet me at the joke shop, at 11. We can go shopping from there. Ron has to get some stuff, and Ginny wants to see the twins. Later."

"Bye Luna." I get up, and race down the halls to the carriages. I get there, and Draco says to me, "You're late. What took you so long, that's not like you."

"Sorry. I lost track of time."

"Okay, here's your half of the check-off list. Look here they come…"

"Thanks." I grab my part of the list, and I call out, "Slytherins and Hufflepuffs over here. You will be riding together today. Single file please." I quickly check off the students as I see them, and they climb into the carriages designated by flags on the side. Draco is doing the same, in his usual calm and collected manner. As I check off the last students on the list, I see the teachers come out of the school and climb into the carriages with the students. The five teachers that are coming are, Sprout, McGonagall, Lupin, Vector, Hagrid, and…I scan the crowd for the last teacher, Flitwick, but to my surprise, I can't see him. Then I spot Severus, getting into the last carriage, the one that carries the Head Girl and Boy to Hogsmede, the prefects are scattered about the carriages, where teachers cannot be present. But the Head Girl and Boy with one teacher go up alone, to discuss matters relating to the trip I suppose. But Draco and I always play a game of travel wizard's chess. Usually we have Flitwick with us, but I don't understand. Why is he coming? And another thing, the Head carriage, is rather small. It fits four comfortably, but still, it's much smaller than the other carriages. I have to sit in a carriage with Severus and Draco. Draco looks over his checklist, and gets into the carriage, after making sure there are no strays. I look around, and I climb in.

I look for a place to sit, and the only space available, is the seat next to Severus. Draco has taken up the whole other seat, stretching out on it, and spreading notes everywhere. I guess he doesn't want to play chess this time. I sit there, and look out the window, as the carriage begins to move. The ride isn't the smoothest, and we get jarred along a little. Draco mutters to himself, he is engrossed in his work. I look over at Snape, and he is reading. He's reading a book that I have never seen him with. It's a book with a plush velvet cover, and it looks interesting. The binding says that it's about the properties of fish scales in potions dealing with medical remedies. How interesting. I stare at his hands, holding the book. I suppose I'm staring rather hard, because he looks over at me, and then he looks back to his book. He startles me when he asks, "Do you need something Ms. Granger? Or are you just inclined to rudely stare at people when they are reading?"

"No, Professor, I was just interested in the title of your book." I reply.

"Do you find it acceptable to pry into a private person's life?"

"No, professor, I was just-"

"You were just what, Ms. Granger? Being annoying? Rude perhaps? I dare say I think you have been both. Now, I must get back to more interesting things, like finishing this book."

Why is he so mean? I don't understand it at all. I look over at Draco, but he is thoroughly absorbed in his work. I look out at the scenery, as it goes by rapidly. One tear cascades down my cheek…

We arrive at Hogsmede, and as the students pile out, I look at them, so happy and carefree. I wish I could walk around holding his hand. But by the looks of him, he would never even consider such an act…

I wander around, making sure that the students are fine, and then at a quarter to eleven, I head over to the joke shop, where most of the younger students are congregated. I squeeze pass them, and I find my friends waiting for me. I walk over, and watch as Harry and Ginny exchange a kiss, and then Harry leaves, obviously going off with Ron somewhere. The girls move closer to me, and they motion for us to leave. We leave, and Ginny says, "Okay, now that it's just us girls, we can finally have some fun! You have any ideas of what you want?"

I just shake my head, and she looks at Luna and laughs.

"Let's go shopping!"

Later, back at the castle, I carefully put my dress in the closet, and I plop down on the bed. I must have fallen asleep, because I wake up to the clock chiming 10. I must have been worn out after all of the shops we went to.

I missed dinner, but its okay, I really wasn't hungry anyway. I get up, and leave my bedroom. I go into my sitting room, and I make myself a cup of tea. I sit down, and stare at the pictures that grace my wall, thinking, trying so hard to think of the moment where it all changed.

It must have been over winter holidays, when I realized how different I was. I must have fallen for Severus close to then. Sure, I looked at him, in an admiring way, but certainly, that is natural. I value his work and life, in respect to the saving of the wizarding world. I appreciate him, but now, a different emotion consumes my heart. I love him, and I really don't understand how it happened. Was there a pivotal moment, where Severus no longer was Professor Snape, but the object of my darkest desire? I wish I could discover what made me act this way. I love him, and I don't remember if there was a moment where I didn't, and then I did. Very unnerving for someone so into thinking and knowing every bit of information that comes across their path. i do know I love him, and I do recall the ride back to Hogwarts...

Once again, I was forced to sit by Severus, but this time it was different. I was loaded with packages, which I promptly shrank. I got out the new novel I bought, and cracked it open. It was a really great book, by talented witch writer, Elisabeth Marie d'Etoile. I have been waiting for the new book, Shadow Snakes, to come out for a long time. Her books are quite interesting, but this is not the point. Severus was already seated, and his book was on his lap, his eyes focused on the page. Draco was muttering something about incompetent children, he must have been marking papers for Vector, who he was an assistant to. Astronomy was a great class, and it was Draco's favorite. He takes Advanced Astronomy, and he is the only student who takes the Applications segment of Astronomy. I would have joined him, but I don't think I would be that interested.

We sit there in silence, except when Draco curses or mutters something about the papers he's grading. I don't know how he does it, having three sessions of Astronomy this year. He is the best at it in school, so I guess its second nature to him. As we go along, I catch Severus looking at me, twice. I look over at him when I catch him a third time and I say,

"How can I assist you, Professor? Or are you following my example, and prying?" I can't believe I said that to him! I am usually not so blunt around teachers, but the stress of the day, and the hurt I feel from his harsh words, makes me react. How is it that he can evoke such strong feelings from me?

"I was simply going to ask you a question, actually asking your opinion about something. But I guess you chose to be petty, and childish, so perhaps I overestimated you. I suppose I will have to ask Draco later, or perhaps Ms. Bones can give me some insight on the topic."

I was shocked, that he would actually take me serious for once, but I ruined it! I bloody ruined it. Now he must think me even more of a child. I am so close to tears now, but I don't cry. Instead I say, "Now who is being juvenile? Really professor." the professor comes out all hazy, because I am trying so hard not to burst into tears. Why do I feel so vulnerable today?

"Very well, Ms. Granger. I will discuss this topic with you at a later date." He clutches his arm, trying to act nonchalant, about the obvious pain he is in. It must be a new calling from

"Why later, Professor Snape?"

"Because we are at the castle, and at the moment, I would like to have some peace from insolent students." He opens the door to the carriage, and steps out. I watch him leave, as he glides past a bunch of giggling third years. Draco curses once more, as he gathers up his papers. I look at him, and I pick up my shrunken bags, and my book. I get out of the carriage, and I see Luna walking with Ron. They are holding hands, and are seem to be talking about something important. I go over to them, and I begin to talk, but Luna hushes me, so I look at them for a moment, and I rush ahead. I get to my private quarters, and I put my stuff on the bed. The rest is history. I wonder when he is going to talk to me again, about said topic. I wonder what the topic is. I am tired still, and I get up from my chair, and I visit the loo. I brush my teeth, and I go to my room. I get out a clean nightgown, this one is a light pastel pink, with a white rosebud pattern scattered all over it. It is soft, and short, barely covering my arse.

Suddenly, the Headmaster's face appears in my fireplace. "Hermione, quick! There is trouble! Meet me by the infirmary! Hurry!"

When I hear those words, I quickly grab my wand, and I run out of my rooms, and I catch Draco running past me, a streak of blond lightening. He can run so much faster than me. I have forgotten how much faster, I mutter to myself, as I race behind him, close on his heels. We get to the infirmary, all out of breath, and wait for the Headmaster to explain what happened, and why he needs us so much.

"There has been a breach on the wards around the castle. Three death eaters got inside, and we can only locate two. We found Crabbe Senior, and we found Rodolphus Lestrange, but the third we cannot find. They won't talk, and the Auror's will be here soon. They tried to take Harry. He is only slightly injured, so you don't have to worry about that. The weekend's activities, meaning the ball will still happen, if we catch this Death Eater. It is imperative that the Auror's can have ample space and silence in which to work. We do not want any students in danger. We are going to lock the entire student body in the Room of Requirement. This is the only true safe room in the castle. There is only one way out, only one way in. And the wards are so powerful. So as Head Boy and Girl, it would be essential if you would get all of the students up and into the Room so I can ward it. Professor McGonagall and Snape will be assisting you. Both of them and Professor Binns and Vector will be with you as well. Also, Madame Hooch will stay with you. Please keep everyone in order, and most importantly calm. I will be alerted if the wards are even attempted to be breached. Thank you. Go tell your classmates, quickly. I must seal the wards in a few minutes."

"Yes Headmaster." Chorused Draco and Hermione, as Dumbledore walked inside, and began talking to an Auror. I just stood there staring, until Draco said to me, "Let's go! Hurry Hermione!" He snapped me back to this horrible reality, and we ran down the halls, ready to alert all of the students. As I ran, I listened to the rhythm of my footsteps, and the beating of my broken heart. I love him, I thought to myself, subconsciously, I love him, I love….him….

Author's Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Next chapter, the Room of Requirement, the mysterious Death Eater, and why is Snape holding Hermione's hand? What does she feel, and what happens next? Later, the matches and the Dance. Many thanks to the following for reviewing: hermioneandseverusfan, Claire, Sabrina, TaintedAngel, bree, Anon, and Patatita. Thank you all, I love you guys. Another chapter, just for you guys, coming really soon. I love you guys….I love…you guys…..


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